Buhay Boksing

Dear Fr.Willy

My new life here in the US has been a boxing match between me and my self. It sounds funny but yes, my greatest enemy is myself - my own temperament, my being indecisive and dependence to some people to suggest decisions for me, my impatience, my ungratefulness to God, etc...

Many times in my life here, I come to HIM for help when I am already at the cross roads or in very rough times and in most cases when my journey seems okay, I seldom thank HIM! I realized that God never used them against me, but I feel the shame/guilt. I usually embraced negativity over things, became impatient and made bad decisions. In turn, I ended up regretting over them.

YET, God in his His unconditional LOVE, never abandoned me. If my mathematical mind is right, God's help/guidance/company... is enormous that I could not count them, because no matter how bad my decisions were, God still makes me feel that I am truly loved by HIM. I wrote you about "When it rains, it pours" but I feel, it should be "When God pours, HE keeps on pouring."

There are many times that I thought I would ran away from the boxing ring we called “life” because I could not raise my hands to give another punch to my opponent and yet when I hear the “ting-ting-ting", I feel God's hands leading me to the seat in my corner to coach me- to breath, relax my muscles, clear up my mind and then FIGHT AGAIN at the sound of the bell. God in HIS most loving voice saying: "I am here and I will be watching you. No matter what, I will be here waiting for you after each round!"

HE continuously pours blessing, no matter what I do, no matter how bad my sins are, it is just that I feel that no matter what I do, HE is always there to give me the blessings I need to survive and in most cases, the blessings are always overflowing. Kahit sa dami ng aking mga “ungrateful moment,” … isang pasalamat lang, bubuhos na kaagad ang mga grasya galing sa KANYA! Nakakahiya nga, pero ganoon nga siguro magmahal ang DIYOS! Walang kupas, walang kondisyon, "walang iwanan" sa lahat ng pakiki-boxing ko sa buhay -- Pilipinas man o Amerika, walang tigil ang buhos ng mga grasya!

Sa Buhay-boksing, may pahinga naman dahil may "ting, ting, ting." Sa lahat ng pakikibaka na nagawa ko na, kitang-kita ko ang Diyos at ang galaw NIYA na misteryoso---paibaiba ang style, pero iisa lang ang pinanggagalingan - PAGMAMAHAL NIYA SA AKIN!


Mimosh

- taken from my homily blogspot: http://willysamson.blogspot.com/